Stephen Hawking: Aliens Exist, and They Got Our Fucking Number

According to msnbc.com, Hawking claims in a new documentary titled "Into the Universe with Stephen Hawking" that intelligent alien life forms almost certainly exist — but warns that communicating with them could be "too risky."

"We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn’t want to meet," Hawking said. "I imagine they might exist in massive ships ... having used up all the resources from their home planet. Such advanced aliens would perhaps become nomads, looking to conquer and colonize whatever planets they can reach."

The 68-year-old scientist said a visit by extraterrestrials to Earth might well be like Christopher Columbus arriving in the Americas, "which didn't turn out very well for the Native Americans."

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Stephen Hawking continues, saying "To my mathematical brain, the numbers alone make thinking about aliens perfectly rational," he said. “The real challenge is to work out what aliens might actually be like."

I on the other hand, personally have no challenge realizing what such aliens might actually be like. All joking aside, at 68-years-old it seems, even the most brilliant of minds can be susceptible to senility. Stephen Hawking, in a constant state of sitting down, must have been a victim of one too many Hollywood blockbusters and trashy novels to jump to such a conclusion about intelligent life on other planets. Alien invasion has always been a kick ass plot device, (Avatar proved that the reverse can also be true), but to declare its plausibility so bluntly in a scientific document seems a little extreme.

The human analogy of Christopher Columbus and the Native Americans makes some sense. (Although that's more of a description of white men, than humans in general.) But I feel like Hawking is forgetting that Native Americans are humans too. How we treat each other may not necessarily define how we will treat intelligent creatures from other planets. For that matter, how are we so sure the civilizations of an entire planet will unite to declare galactic battle against us? Use Earth as an example for Planet X. If Planet X is anything like Earth, they are way too busy kicking each others asses for their own resources to settle their differences all of the sudden, turn around and blow us to shit.

A planet is a big place. On Earth, there are hundreds of countries with different customs, cultures, traditions and ideals, filled with people of different race, ethnicity, and economical backgrounds. We, on this big blue ball here, are far too different from one another to get along, let alone come up with a common consensus on how to deal with an extraterrestrial situation. We can then assume, that Planet X has similar issues on its end.

That is if they are as smart as we are. For all we know, the inhabitants on Planet X could be slack-jawed morons. Science and logic could be totally lost on them, let alone them being capable of flying "massive ships" as pictured in the sci-fi imagination of Stephen Hawking.

In conclusion, I would no more heed Stephen Hawking's recent warning concerning alien contact than I would heed HG Wells' not-so-recent warning concerning alien contact. These are pretty ridiculous claims, especially considering Hawking's position in the scientific community. For him to make such a statement, just proves to me that no man who is around long enough to see his elder years is spared from the fate of becoming the "crazy old guy".

Food for thought. You're gonna need it.